i'm nowhere near suicidal but sometimes i feel like dying, killing myself sounds very self-absorbed and dramatic but sometimes i imagine it. i feel like such a piece of shit fuck face who should disappear. my insides hurt. i wish i could talk about it with someone who understands, i feel like everybody would think i'm emo, dramatic, or crazy. i mean i'm all those things but at the same time i'm not. i feel so good for nothing, i can't explain how i feel cause i never pay attention to how i'm exactly feeling and what's making me that way. and when i try to remember wht it was that was happening to me, i start second guessing myself. maybe i am just too sefish and self absorbed. i don't know how i feel except that i struggle with every single one of my flaws, it hurts me knowing how hurtful i really am. when i think about all that i've done, i picture a grenade in my mouth. or something
silly like me being a hero or me being a victim. i really can't stand myself.
2 comments:
Vox! I love you! Talk to me? I'll listen, if anybody knows anything about crazy, its your friend Sue :)
No really though man...i would listen.
You need to learn to love yourself as much as those who love you do. We all get overcome by whatever flaws we have (be them our own fault or not in our control) but you can't let them get the best of you. Know that God loves you and keep on trying to find your place, wherever that may be, and soon you'll find that love you're aching for. It's there, you just have to dig for it.
And don't worry about feeling like a bother if you want to address anyone with this. People in your life are there because they want to be; they want to listen. They care. <3
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