Sigh

I haven't wrote in FOREVER! I was going to post up the other night, but after a few paragraphs I decided not to cause I felt that I didn't really want to post what little I had written. Plus, I didn't really feel like what i was writing at that point, so I ended up just saving the draft and not posting. I'll tel you the basic gist of what it was about, or at least, going to be about. Lately I have just being feeling like such a shallow person lately. I don't know. It hurts me sometimes, I don't really like thinking about it but at the same time I think about it a lot. I can be so mindless and such a pawn sometimes. Not that I get used or whatever, but I tend to not think for myself at times. But I feel that after realizing this, I've gotten a lot better, but still I am so ashamed.